Hot Buttons: How to Resolve Conflict and Cool Everyone Down Book + PRICE WATCH * Amazon pricing is not included in price watch

Hot Buttons: How to Resolve Conflict and Cool Everyone Down Book

Road rage. Air rage. Cell phone rage. And, yes, even Starbucks rage. "We live in angry times," says Hot Buttons author Sybil Evans, and she should know. As one of America's leading experts on conflict resolution, Evans has worked with everyone from corporations the size of AT&T to the United States Tennis Association to couples on the brink of divorce. So what's the source of our growing hostility? Hot buttons. "A hot button," Evans writes, "is an emotional trigger." Your hot buttons get pushed when people call you names, don't respond to you, take what belongs to you, challenge your competence, don't respect you, give you unsolicited advice, don't appreciate you, are condescending... and the list goes on. In Hot Buttons: How to Resolve Conflict and Cool Everyone Down, Evans and coauthor Sherry Suib Cohen claim that by recognizing what pushes your hot buttons--and by learning how not to push the hot buttons of others--conflicts can be avoided. Even more important is the ability to turn them off once they have been pushed. The book begins with a five-step formula for doing this: "watch the play," "confirm," "get more information," "assert your own interests and needs," and "find common ground for a solution." Once the authors have explained how to achieve each step, they cover just about every conceivable conflict under the sun and how to employ the five steps in each case. Added to the mix are a number of self-quizzes for identifying what sets you off and dozens of catchy quotes, termed "Hot-Button Hints," such as "When anger rises, think of the consequences" (Confucius). One of the book's more interesting chapters deals with how hot buttons can be hazardous to your health. Other chapters include discussions of hot buttons and intimacy, the family, children, friendship, and the workplace. Evans's expertise is apparent throughout, though she does get repetitive, particularly when driving home her points with what seems like an endless supply of personal anecdotes from those she's worked with over the years. Still, among all the examples, readers will find fresh, creative ideas for quelling rages large and small. --Patrick JenningsRead More

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  • Product Description

    When Was The Last Time Your Hot Button Was Pushed?Was it when someone at work ignored you or challenged your competence?Was it when your lover or spouse deeply hurt you with a mean comment?Was it when your best friend said or did something cruel -- and you had no idea why she felt such rage?Was it on the highway, when the guy in the next car gave you the finger?Was it when someone told you what to do -- for the millionth time?

    And when was the last time you unwittingly pushed someone else's button? Did she explode? Did you lose a promotion, an opportunity, the trust of your child?

    We live in sensitive times. Everyone's temper is quivering right at the surface, and it takes almost nothing to set off fury. When our buttons are pressed, many react by fighting back, but some of us just feel helpless and retreat from the conflict because we're sure we can't win the battle. We sense we're being manipulated or bullied, but we just can't deal with the anger in the air.

    Well, now we can. Sybil Evans, a celebrated conflict resolution expert, widely known as the "Conflict Coach," has written Hot Buttons, an essential handbook with can't-fail techniques on how to get what we want without alienating people -- without pressing their buttons. Whether you're dealing with the office sadist, an unruly child, or the love of your life -- conflict can be a killer. But here's the irony: Conflict can also work for you, can be an energizing, inspiring, even sexy force if you know how to harness it. Hot Buttons shows you how.

    Evans offers very specific tools to soothe angry lovers, smooth the rough edges of workplace tension, choose harmony instead of anger between family and friends, and also defuse road rage, cell phone rage, supermarket-line rage, gym rage, restaurant rage, and other banes of this volatile twenty-first century.

    Her easy-to-follow Five-Step Formula is guaranteed to turn off hot buttons -- yours or someone else's. Loaded with self-test quizzes, written with humor and empathy, this wise and reassuring book can be the spur that finally changes your life.

    When you know how to cool everyone down, when you can communicate so no one's buttons are pushed and everyone's needs are met, when you finally feel understood and respected, you have true power.

    Seize the power. Turn off the hot buttons.

  • 0060196998
  • 9780060196998
  • Sybil Evans, Sherry Suib Cohen
  • 1 March 2001
  • HarperCollins
  • Hardcover (Book)
  • 352
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