If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! Book

In this hysterical, piercing completely on-target collection of essays, Cynthia Heimel lets loose once again on all her favorite subjects. From "The New Coldness" (pretty people eating frozen radicchio mousse while starving children outside claw at the window) to "PMS and Outfits" (self-explanatory), each of these pieces offers a welcome antidote to modern culture (which, Heimel tells us, is too kind a word for what we live in). Here's Heimel on: Women...I know what kind of man I must look for: a guy who will be my pal, who approves of me and supports me, and who is not afraid of his feelings. I know this is right, because I feel the same aversion that I feel about eating bean sprouts. Men...The boy disease is when everything's just great and you're having a wonderful time and then he suddenly becomes very weird and disappears. It's epidemic nowadays. Men and Women...If he's the wrong man, you can turn yourself inside out with smiles and perfume and French maid's outfits and nothing will work. If he's the right man, you can have greasy hair, spinach in your teeth, and your skirt on inside out, and he'll still be entranced and follow you to the ends of the earth. Life, etc...Being a mother of a teenager is a strange and precarious exercise. You both know about sex, but nobody's talking. Better to talk about cannibalism. Read More