The Bluffers Guide to Relationships (Bluffer's Guides) Book

Oil is not lostThe correct attitude to take when discussing Kerckhoff and Davis' filter theory is one of amused cynicism. You can point out that it has completely missed some of the most important filters in an average relationship. For example the oil filter on the car. When a man forgets to change that, his relationship really is in trouble. Amore is more than it seemsSome psychologists think that “love” is essentially the same as “like.” In other words, that loving may be an extreme version of liking, but that its core qualities are the same. Others, however, think that it is qualitatively different. (A good word for the bluffer, that “qualitatively.” It helps to lend a real air of expertise. Try and drop it casually into the conversation at dinner parties. But make sure you do so before the brandy, otherwise you’ve got no chance.) Line dancingWarn others not to wait too long before choosing or they could fall into the “conveyor belt” trap. This is the formula that assumes that of the people who come into your life randomly from the age of 16 to 60, you will want to pick the best item off the conveyor belt. But, as in a sushi bar, the longer you wait the more likely it is that the tastiest item will have gone by. Truly, deeply, madlySo when it comes to deepening and strengthening a relationship, a woman will engage in such activities as making the home comfortable, preparing her partner's favorite meal, telling him on a repeated basis how much she loves him. A man will bleed the radiators. Dear JohnThe thinking behind silent dating is that it challenges your ideas about self-expression.... If you want to appear satirical, offer the thought that in getting partners to communicate only in writing, silent dating starts a relationship in exactly the way many of them end.Read More