The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex Book

As anyone who has ever watched their drunken partner dance the lambada with 15 strangers well knows, the insidious and sinister flipside to the raptures of sexual love is jealousy. So overpowering is "the green-eyed goddess" it can lead to divorce, battery, even murder.So what is the scientific reason for this debilitating emotion? American sociobiologist David Buss has undertaken a Darwinian study. He concludes that the motive force for male jealousy is summed up in the pithy African phrase: "Mama's baby, Papa's maybe". Men are susceptible to jealousy because they can never be entirely sure of the paternity of their offspring.But what about women? They are just as prey to the "dangerous passion"--only in different ways, and for different reasons. Buss analyses these gender differences, and finds that two-thirds of women are more provoked by "emotional infidelity" than physical unfaithfulness. In contrast men are more likely to agonise about their cheating partners doing exotic sex acts. Homosexual men seem to be less jealous than straights.Buss provides plenty of case studies. One man was driven to jealous fury when his partner bought a new overcoat. Another sought a divorce when his wife started reading a "new star sign". A third reckoned his wife was doing it with the neighbour when the flicker of the Christmas tree lights started synchronising with the flicker of the neighbour's Xmas tree. In each of these cases the husband's suspicions, however bonkers, turned out to be well founded. Evolution seems to have provided us with acute intuitive faculties that enable us to sense infidelity from the tiniest signal.This arresting and very accessible book concludes that all is not lost. "Emotional wisdom" is Buss's term for the way we might turn jealousy to our advantage, use it as fuel for our sex lives, employ its power to strengthen marriage. He may be right, he may be wrong, but after reading this book you may well want to check out that Christmas tree. --Sean ThomasRead More