Understanding Men's Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men's Lives Book

Gail Sheehy's taboo-breaking book about women's menopause, The Silent Passage, was named one of the most influential books of our time by the Library of Congress. Understanding Men's Passages is just as powerful and is certain to change the landscape of the psychology of men. Inspired by her husband's struggle with a midlife career crisis, Sheehy has compiled nearly 10 years worth of interviews and research into this book, revealing the fears and self-doubts of men over 40 who struggle with identity crises both at work and with their partners and children. Sheehy also defines male menopause as a period in which hormones, including testosterone--and therefore potency and sex drive--drop, and men suffer from irritability and mood swings. She cites the statistics that claim more than 52 percent of men between the ages of 40 and 70 can expect some degree of impotence--which translates into at least 20 million men. "When ignored or denied, this sexual freeze extends more deeply into every aspect of a man's life than was previously thought," she writes. "It can be an underlying cause of depression, divorce, even suicide." The men Sheehy interviewed were surprisingly candid about their situations and are glad that they've opened up a discourse. Says one man about the silence regarding sexual changes his father endured during his passage into male menopause: "The only sign of getting older probably was that earlier trip to the bathroom in the morning--which we call the six a.m. passage." In addition to covering male menopause and the latest treatments for impotence, Sheehy also includes chapters on how to handle empty-nest syndrome, job downsizing, and the strain on marriage that retirement brings about, but her main point rings clear throughout: "We need an expanded definition of manliness."Read More