What I did on my summer vacation: surviving and helping others learn from a boyhood of sexual abuse Book

This survivor's account of how he was helped to come to terms with being sexually abused throughout his boyhood provides opportunities for a wide range of people to learn from what the author experienced. The main part of the book is: a harrowing, first person account of the abuse suffered by the author from the ages of six to eighteen. It is graphically illustrated with the author's own drawings, which most people will find deeply upsetting. The author's account of his personal journey to come to terms with his abuse. Greatly assisted by art therapy, it offers unique opportunities for fellow survivors, child protection workers, therapists, and even perpetrators who are receiving treatment from professionals, to see what can be learned about profoundly harmful abuse, preventing it, and charting a path to recovery if prevention fails. In the second part of the book Martin Calder: crosschecks Paul's account with known theoretical frameworks of understanding and response, and uses this knowledge to explain and enhance how we work with male survivors of abuse and their abusers. Martin's message to perpetrators is that we now have a clearer causal understanding of your behaviour we are harnessing this knowledge into initiatives that will help us prevent your activities. His message to survivors is that we are more familiar with the pathways you have been taken down, and we now have a much clearer map and compass to help you successfully chart a path to recovery. Paul's message is that someday, someone could come to you and tell you they've been assaulted in a similar way. It could be your own kid, or a friend. Or it could be you. Perhaps this book will help you prepare for that, and you'll be better able to handle it. I hope you find some benefit from it. Proceed at your own risk, but be kind and gentle to yourselves always. Survivors may identify similar experiences and relate to them; and take some of the coping strategies used and apply them in their own circumstances. Those concerned with helping victims of abuse can use the materials to show others that they are not alone; and that impacts can be moderated and overcome with the right support and help. Perpetrators of abuse need to hear and see the life-long impact of their behaviour and to be faced with this in the pursuit of accepting some responsibility. Those concerned with changing the behaviour of abusers may integrate the messages in their intervention programmes. Those concerned with protecting the vulnerable from abuse can use the mixture of messages to help develop keep safe strategies. Those concerned with law and justice may need to rethink their high threshold for action when the harm experienced is so multi-faceted and enduring, and may be contingent on seeing the perpetrator held legally responsible for their actions.Read More