When Mothers Work: Loving Our Children without Sacrificing Ourselves Book

Here's a radical concept: motherhood, as it is currently envisioned and practiced in American culture, is bad for the family. This theory is the heart of Joan K. Peters's controversial When Mothers Work, a book guaranteed to make readers question everything they thought they believed about parenting. In Peters's view, the myth of the perfect mother, who is not only willing but glad to make huge sacrifices for her children, is really a trap that creates unhappy, unfulfilled parents and miserable children. Why, Peters asks, do we assume that the transformation into primary caregiver and ultimate authority on all things having to do with home and child is welcomed by women? Why is it that the birth of a baby radically changes most mothers' lives while fathers often go essentially untouched? Peters is not afraid to question the sanctity--or the satisfaction--of motherhood; she points out that parenting, as it is organized today, requires women to make most of the sacrifices and take on most of the stress while depriving men of both the responsibilities and the rewards of being a parent.

Many of these arguments have been made before, but what makes Peters's book both unique and persuasive is that she doesn't assign blame to men only; she is quick to point out that it is women themselves who are often reluctant to give up the lion's share of responsibility for child rearing. Yet, in order for families to be truly functional, mothers must share parenting equally and accept that, while men may nurture children differently, they are just as effective. Happy children require happy parents, Peters argues, and having a life and identity outside of the home is essential to both men and women. When Mothers Work is a thoughtful critique of the state of American parenting today and a blueprint for change.